you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
