Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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