Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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