I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
