thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
