Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
