I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
