my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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