you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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