Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
