We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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