do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
