New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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