We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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