go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
