She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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