Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
