Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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