you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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