I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
