i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
