you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
