what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
