you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
