I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
