found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
