She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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