Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Do vagina's smell?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
