I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
