After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
