Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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