So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
