Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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