I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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