Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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