five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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