i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
