Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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