At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
