maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
