I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
