Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
please come you make the beer taste better
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
