Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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