I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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