and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
