Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
