***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
