I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
