I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
