I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
