If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
